The Badaun Rape Incident has yet again brought to light the brutality that only humans are capable of and the morbid effects of misogyny and caste-ism in India and since it was not enough a smilar incident happened in Sitapur, UP. One would think after the perpetrators of the Nirbhaya incident and Shakti Mill incident were convicted and were awarded death sentences, it would deter gender-biased crimes. Well, that is what people were hoping for. The denizens of India bayed for the blood of those criminals, and rightly so. How wrong were we ! How wrong we were to think that hanging, considered to be the most severe of punishments meted out by the Indian judiciary, would solely impede gender biased crimes. Back in 2004, a person named Dhananjay was given the capital punishment for the rape and murder of Hetal Parekh , but crimes of these kind still continued to happen.
Where did we go wrong ? Let me answer that for you.
A few days back disturbed by these incidents, its frequency of occurrence and the irresponsible and callous behavior of the politicians, I Google-ed 'What's wrong with Indian men ?' One of the the search results threw up an interview of Goan men, concerning the rape and subsequent murder of a foreign national in one of Goa's beaches. The girl was a teenager on a vacation, on that particular unfortunate night she was apparently drunk and apparently wearing inappropriate clothing. They thought it was the fault of the girl, because she was alone and too friendly with strangers [ Read: Flirting or Enticing gullible men, I think this is what the interviewee wanted to convey] He said it might have been appropriate back at her country but " यह हमारे कल्चर में नहीं चलता। " [ This is not part of our culture ]
I wondered, "क्या चलता है फिर हमारे कल्चर में ?" [ What does our culture entail ? ]
What kind of culture are we obliging to ? One that fails to honor human dignity, the basic, innate dignity. One that allows XY chromosome to be somehow superior to the XX chromosome. Why ? Because an archaic law written by someone called Manu, a mythical progenitor of humanity wrote so. Why after eons do we follow those obsolete laws ? Are we not rational or analytic enough ? Why aren't we analytic ? Why do we fear so much to break away from rules when it clearly doesn't serve it's purpose in the changing times ?
As per my perceptions, rules should serve as guidelines and not be bindings. Break the rules that doesn't honor a human or humanity.
Ironically, honor too has acquired a new meaning. Honor has been merged with vanity for the convenience of some people. In the interiors of Northern India, if you don't accept a person's choice of spouse, you can kill them and term that as 'Honor Killing'.
Why the need to kill ? He/She married a person of another caste/creed/religion/gender or because he/she acted on his/her own will ? यह हमारे कल्चर में नहीं चलता।
One can kill another in cold-blood, their own blood, who they were supposed to love and protect, an action that would find itself in the category of inhumane, thus making you something less of a human. [No, not a beast or animal, they by nature are incapable of such acts, maybe those people are something worse than them] yet they would all like to be called honorable men. Love and freedom are too inconsequential compared to the family name, the vanity of it and the supposed respect their dynasty commands in the society.
Why is that only innocents suffer while guilty live without guilt ?
Another testament to the above statement are people who had been subjected to sexual assault.
The assault would be blamed on Chinese fast food, mobiles, globalization, clothes, the girl but never, never ever on the real cause, that people specifically some men can't control their lust. They have been conditioned not to because since when have women and their opinions been respected. Women they talk, sorry gab too much. It need not to be taken into consideration.
The assault is blamed on clothes, "It was revealing. She brought it upon herself." Seemingly, men's integrity and ethics are so volatile that a few inches of cloth more or less in your attire can make you a siren and a potential target to vent out their lust. If this is a criteria, then children and people in rural areas that wear what is deemed to be appropriate attire should be spared from this ghastly crime but I don't see that happening. Therefore, I want the statement to be edified that wearing exposing clothes exposes females to the risk of sexual violation. The statement cannot be edified because its faulty, without any iota of truth in it.
The assault is blamed on modernization, "Rapes happen in India, it doesn't happen in Bharat." Modernization challenges our age old tradition. The age old tradition that makes the women of house to be quarantined in house, cooking, breeding, cleaning. Even if the women is educated, she would end up with these responsibilities, why spend money on education, this is the general idea most have. What they fear is education of females would bring home the fact that they ought to be treated better. They can and should have opinions, express them and act upon them. They can earn, earn more and be independent. The non-adherence to the patriarchal system scares them. It means people who benefit from suppression would lose their power and power has always been a temptation for mankind.
The assault is blamed on girls, suggesting that they were suggestive. I don't understand what kind of behavior is deemed suggestive. Even if she was flirting which is not immoral if done for fun, when she says no to sexual advances, she means no, a resounding NO. Women cannot be polite to strangers or smile at them lest the innocent gesture is considered to be flirtatious. Neither drinking, nor being out, late at night should make her a target.
The assault is blamed on girls, suggesting that they were suggestive. I don't understand what kind of behavior is deemed suggestive. Even if she was flirting which is not immoral if done for fun, when she says no to sexual advances, she means no, a resounding NO. Women cannot be polite to strangers or smile at them lest the innocent gesture is considered to be flirtatious. Neither drinking, nor being out, late at night should make her a target.
I don't wish wish to convey that all are misogynistic, many are brought up in a gender neutral, one that doesn't conform to gender stereotypes, loving, respectful environment and some go on to become exemplary people but those that don't agree with changing times have disrespectful and violent ways to put forth their disapproval. They distort the meaning of culture.
Recently Article 377 that deals with homosexuality has come under scrutiny because the Supreme Court of India did not repeal it. Homosexuality is looked down upon, it is thought to be a contagious disease, some disorder. Me thinks, homophobia has its root in the exaltation of machismo, anything that is not a MAN, is thought to be weak. "A man loving a man, shameful ! A woman loving a woman, don't we, the men have the right over them." The homophobes argue that it is not the natural way for a person to with the same gender, who is to decide what is natural and what is not. Why should any civilized person bother herself/himself with what other people do in their privacy or who they chose to love. That's why, often homosexuals are bullied, mentally and physically.
Recently Article 377 that deals with homosexuality has come under scrutiny because the Supreme Court of India did not repeal it. Homosexuality is looked down upon, it is thought to be a contagious disease, some disorder. Me thinks, homophobia has its root in the exaltation of machismo, anything that is not a MAN, is thought to be weak. "A man loving a man, shameful ! A woman loving a woman, don't we, the men have the right over them." The homophobes argue that it is not the natural way for a person to with the same gender, who is to decide what is natural and what is not. Why should any civilized person bother herself/himself with what other people do in their privacy or who they chose to love. That's why, often homosexuals are bullied, mentally and physically.
Let us not live with misinterpretation of culture. Let's look into the eye of the problem and call a spade, a spade. Let's not brush the problems under the carpet of tradition and culture. Let us change for better because nothing is bigger than simple goodness.
ज़मीर बदलते हैं, हालात खुद-ब-खुद बदल जाएंगे।
Violence has always been a weapon of choice for oppression. Let's move away from violence, violence is never an answer to get things done one own's way. Children should be inculcated with the idea that both the genders are equal, and one should be considerate towards another no matter how different the person is from one's own self. I don't expect an overnight change but we all can work towards a better future.
ज़मीर बदलते हैं, हालात खुद-ब-खुद बदल जाएंगे।
Violence has always been a weapon of choice for oppression. Let's move away from violence, violence is never an answer to get things done one own's way. Children should be inculcated with the idea that both the genders are equal, and one should be considerate towards another no matter how different the person is from one's own self. I don't expect an overnight change but we all can work towards a better future.
Here I would leave with an endearing scene from Swades that suggests what should be our attitude towards our traditions and culture.
LET'S RAISE THE SONS BETTER, SO THAT THE DAUGHTERS COME TO NO HARM.
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