"I love you Shaurya...", he whispered in my ears. My arms around Ardaas slackened, I stood frozen in our 'goodbye-hug'. There we were, at the airport, with people milling in and out. He had come to see me off, for I was to leave for Ireland. The abrupt confession had made me incapable to think for few seconds.When it finally sunk in, I broke away from the embrace. I saw apprehension in Ardaas' eyes, I assume induced by the incredulity that I conveyed. My best friend, my platonic best friend proposing me, right now, here. Of course I would be shocked.
"Did you say what I heard you say ?", I asked.
"Depends on what you heard.", he replied.
Why does he has to be this thick in moments like these. I felt myself bristle. " Do you love me ?"
"Yes I do. Do you ?"
"Dude, couldn't you find a better time to drop this bomb?" I regretted my choice of phrase, bomb-airport don't go well. I hope nobody heard me. I rephrased, "You think this is the best time to confess your feelings for me ?"
"Well... I wanted to do it earlier but I couldn't muster the courage and you were busy with your PG applications."
"You couldn't find time in the last 7 years to tell me you love me, but finally do when I am about leave the country. Yeah... I totally get the logic." His face fell because of my sarcasm. I mentally punched myself in the arm.
" This could be my last meeting with you. Who knows, when you're in Dublin, you might fall for a nice Irish guy. What would be the use of me telling you this then ?"
"The same use that I had when I said I love you 5 years ago and you loved somebody else."
"Ohh... you still have that grudge against me but if you could love me 5 years ago, you would still love me now. Wouldn't you ? Don't you ?"
"I don't think so... I put in a lot of effort to undermine those amorous feelings that I had for you. The hurt was too overwhelming at times but I promised myself, I wouldn't let anything come between our precious friendship. Neither my love for you, nor your love for someone else. I am not sure if I feel the same way about you as I used to do earlier..." My voice faltered.
He took in a long breath as if steadying himself for what he was about to say, "So the answer is a blunt no."
"I have no answers to give and I don't have the time to think about the answer I want to give. We will talk about it later. I got to go."
"Yes, I know. I wish for you to stay but I don't expect you to stay. Good luck for the future, become a famous writer. Goodbye."
"I'm just going for PG, I'm not going for a war. ' I'll come back when it's over. No need to say Goodbye.' " I sang la Regina Spektor from her song 'The Call'.
"So am I forgiven for the proposal debacle? I'm sorry." His voice exuded his earnestness.
"And I'm Shaurya." I said extending my hand in a mock introduction. "You were, you are and you'll always be my best friend Ardaas. Nothing in the world can change that. Adios Amigo."
I waved and entered the airport hoping I mitigated the debacle.
I was woken up by the air-hostess telling me we are about to land in Dublin. All through the way to Heathrow, London I was anxious about leaving everything familiar but once I boarded the flight to Dublin I could give some thought as to what happened with Ardaas. I have to think about it later. Now the anxiety came back again. New country, new people, new life awaits... God give me strength."
To be continued...
Please do give your feedback. I am looking forward to it.
"Did you say what I heard you say ?", I asked.
"Depends on what you heard.", he replied.
Why does he has to be this thick in moments like these. I felt myself bristle. " Do you love me ?"
"Yes I do. Do you ?"
"Dude, couldn't you find a better time to drop this bomb?" I regretted my choice of phrase, bomb-airport don't go well. I hope nobody heard me. I rephrased, "You think this is the best time to confess your feelings for me ?"
"Well... I wanted to do it earlier but I couldn't muster the courage and you were busy with your PG applications."
"You couldn't find time in the last 7 years to tell me you love me, but finally do when I am about leave the country. Yeah... I totally get the logic." His face fell because of my sarcasm. I mentally punched myself in the arm.
" This could be my last meeting with you. Who knows, when you're in Dublin, you might fall for a nice Irish guy. What would be the use of me telling you this then ?"
"The same use that I had when I said I love you 5 years ago and you loved somebody else."
"Ohh... you still have that grudge against me but if you could love me 5 years ago, you would still love me now. Wouldn't you ? Don't you ?"
"I don't think so... I put in a lot of effort to undermine those amorous feelings that I had for you. The hurt was too overwhelming at times but I promised myself, I wouldn't let anything come between our precious friendship. Neither my love for you, nor your love for someone else. I am not sure if I feel the same way about you as I used to do earlier..." My voice faltered.
He took in a long breath as if steadying himself for what he was about to say, "So the answer is a blunt no."
"I have no answers to give and I don't have the time to think about the answer I want to give. We will talk about it later. I got to go."
"Yes, I know. I wish for you to stay but I don't expect you to stay. Good luck for the future, become a famous writer. Goodbye."
"I'm just going for PG, I'm not going for a war. ' I'll come back when it's over. No need to say Goodbye.' " I sang la Regina Spektor from her song 'The Call'.
"So am I forgiven for the proposal debacle? I'm sorry." His voice exuded his earnestness.
"And I'm Shaurya." I said extending my hand in a mock introduction. "You were, you are and you'll always be my best friend Ardaas. Nothing in the world can change that. Adios Amigo."
I waved and entered the airport hoping I mitigated the debacle.
I was woken up by the air-hostess telling me we are about to land in Dublin. All through the way to Heathrow, London I was anxious about leaving everything familiar but once I boarded the flight to Dublin I could give some thought as to what happened with Ardaas. I have to think about it later. Now the anxiety came back again. New country, new people, new life awaits... God give me strength."
To be continued...
Please do give your feedback. I am looking forward to it.
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