What was the first thought that occurred to you when you read the title of this post ?
The Jim Carrey-Kate Winslet starrer movie. The one where they both undergo a memory-erasing procedure,to forget each other, to survive heartbreak. Meet as strangers and love each other once again.
Or maybe you pondered for a while, deducing that a mind devoid of bother, untainted, spotless is one that is coveted.
For a while, I've been thinking, how good it would be if I forgot a certain part of my life, a short section. You know, hit my head somewhere and after some serious first-aid, Poof ! It vanishes. I am of the opinion that, that period was unnecessary. One, I could have done without. But it did happen and there's no undoing it but also tweaking the memory won't hurt anybody. Would it ?
Another reason which makes me want a futuristic ( or is it ? ) memory-erasing session is to forget A Certain Person .
I can hear you go "Oh My God ! Another post on sad heartbreak ! Grow Up ! Stop with the moping ! There's plenty of fish in the sea. Gee."
Yes, I know there's plenty of fish in the sea but I had my heart set on a particular one. Maybe with time I'll move on. Laugh at this episode but that time hasn't come yet. Therefore, I write.
I've contemplated forgetting that Certain Person, go on with life, do away with comparisons between the people I meet and that Certain Person. Like somebody, paving the way for 'happily-ever-afters'
The glitch is he has set a benchmark, a high and ideal one at that. The way I opened up to him, I doubt if I would open up to anybody. It took a LOT of courage on my side [ And when I put a word in uppercase, I, sure as hell, mean it.] to do this.
Not much prying was done, a simple question was asked, "Are you okay ?".
I had never been asked that by anybody, never with the intent to listen and remedy. Maybe it was meant to be, maybe I was too tired to hold it back anymore, so I poured out. It felt good to answer, "No. I don't feel okay because..."
It is said that the best kind of love is unconditional; where there is no expectation of reciprocation but I think Love begets love. That's why I fell in love with him and I can say this without a moment of doubt.
Retrospecting, maybe I misconstrued pity or genuine friendship as love. Whatever it was, that kind of brooding is beyond me, I was (am) in love.
Fate had some other plans. To shorten it, I love(d) him, he didn't.
Not wanting to lose a good (The Best) friend, I thought I can take it in a stride and I did, for a while.
But unrequited love got the better of me and in a la Deepika Padukone style
"Agar main do minute aur rahi, toh...toh mujhe tumse pyaar ho jaayega... phirse... aur tumhe nahin hoga... phirse."
I told him we couldn't be friends anymore.
I woke up next morning and the first thought that crossed my mind was "I won't be talking to him anymore."
This shouldn't have been the first thought on Christmas.
In the aforementioned movie when the memory-erasing technicians start on Joel (Jim Carrey) to erase his memories of Clementine (Kate Winslet) , he realises he doesn't want to part ways with her and does everything he can hold onto her.
While I was going through the messages we exchanged, intending to delete them and with time 'Unfriend' him. It dawned on me we were more than a love not reciprocated.
We were/are friends and Love is too trivial a thing to let it come in way of friendships.
I found an excerpt by Ray Croft which fits the situation at hand like a glove.
' I love you not only for what you are but for what i am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself but what are you making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out. '
I love him for the part of me that he brought out. I cannot undo this now. I accept, love and cherish myself. If I were to forgo and forget the experience, I wouldn't be able to do that.
In a time when I felt lost he wanted my happiness more than I wanted to be happy. It was nice to have someone to talk to, who didn't dismiss my thoughts, with whom I could have a conversation where I could be understood and even if not understood, I was acknowledged.
He was my go-to person whenever I heard a song that affected me intensively and till now I can't enjoy a song as much as I would have if I haven't shared the song with him. He was my music buddy.
I had to share a good news with him because his sincere joy at my happiness multiplied my happiness.
This wasn't hunger for validation by someone else, it was joy of sharing at its best.
It seems it was the start to some sort of therapy.
A genuine and nurturing friendship is always appreciated.
Why would you let such a friend get away ?
But I did and there's no undoing that either.
The kind of person he is, he doesn't deserve a friendship of convenience
But I also know, I would cherish him till time ceases to exist and whenever you, the reader meets me, know that I was fortunate enough to meet him altering me thus...
I don't need sunshine, his name literally means ' The Sun ' .
My personal sun.
The Jim Carrey-Kate Winslet starrer movie. The one where they both undergo a memory-erasing procedure,to forget each other, to survive heartbreak. Meet as strangers and love each other once again.
Or maybe you pondered for a while, deducing that a mind devoid of bother, untainted, spotless is one that is coveted.
For a while, I've been thinking, how good it would be if I forgot a certain part of my life, a short section. You know, hit my head somewhere and after some serious first-aid, Poof ! It vanishes. I am of the opinion that, that period was unnecessary. One, I could have done without. But it did happen and there's no undoing it but also tweaking the memory won't hurt anybody. Would it ?
Another reason which makes me want a futuristic ( or is it ? ) memory-erasing session is to forget A Certain Person .
I can hear you go "Oh My God ! Another post on sad heartbreak ! Grow Up ! Stop with the moping ! There's plenty of fish in the sea. Gee."
Yes, I know there's plenty of fish in the sea but I had my heart set on a particular one. Maybe with time I'll move on. Laugh at this episode but that time hasn't come yet. Therefore, I write.
I've contemplated forgetting that Certain Person, go on with life, do away with comparisons between the people I meet and that Certain Person. Like somebody, paving the way for 'happily-ever-afters'
The glitch is he has set a benchmark, a high and ideal one at that. The way I opened up to him, I doubt if I would open up to anybody. It took a LOT of courage on my side [ And when I put a word in uppercase, I, sure as hell, mean it.] to do this.
Not much prying was done, a simple question was asked, "Are you okay ?".
I had never been asked that by anybody, never with the intent to listen and remedy. Maybe it was meant to be, maybe I was too tired to hold it back anymore, so I poured out. It felt good to answer, "No. I don't feel okay because..."
It is said that the best kind of love is unconditional; where there is no expectation of reciprocation but I think Love begets love. That's why I fell in love with him and I can say this without a moment of doubt.
Retrospecting, maybe I misconstrued pity or genuine friendship as love. Whatever it was, that kind of brooding is beyond me, I was (am) in love.
Fate had some other plans. To shorten it, I love(d) him, he didn't.
Not wanting to lose a good (The Best) friend, I thought I can take it in a stride and I did, for a while.
But unrequited love got the better of me and in a la Deepika Padukone style
"Agar main do minute aur rahi, toh...toh mujhe tumse pyaar ho jaayega... phirse... aur tumhe nahin hoga... phirse."
I told him we couldn't be friends anymore.
I woke up next morning and the first thought that crossed my mind was "I won't be talking to him anymore."
This shouldn't have been the first thought on Christmas.
In the aforementioned movie when the memory-erasing technicians start on Joel (Jim Carrey) to erase his memories of Clementine (Kate Winslet) , he realises he doesn't want to part ways with her and does everything he can hold onto her.
While I was going through the messages we exchanged, intending to delete them and with time 'Unfriend' him. It dawned on me we were more than a love not reciprocated.
We were/are friends and Love is too trivial a thing to let it come in way of friendships.
I found an excerpt by Ray Croft which fits the situation at hand like a glove.
' I love you not only for what you are but for what i am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself but what are you making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out. '
I love him for the part of me that he brought out. I cannot undo this now. I accept, love and cherish myself. If I were to forgo and forget the experience, I wouldn't be able to do that.
In a time when I felt lost he wanted my happiness more than I wanted to be happy. It was nice to have someone to talk to, who didn't dismiss my thoughts, with whom I could have a conversation where I could be understood and even if not understood, I was acknowledged.
He was my go-to person whenever I heard a song that affected me intensively and till now I can't enjoy a song as much as I would have if I haven't shared the song with him. He was my music buddy.
I had to share a good news with him because his sincere joy at my happiness multiplied my happiness.
This wasn't hunger for validation by someone else, it was joy of sharing at its best.
It seems it was the start to some sort of therapy.
A genuine and nurturing friendship is always appreciated.
Why would you let such a friend get away ?
But I did and there's no undoing that either.
The kind of person he is, he doesn't deserve a friendship of convenience
But I also know, I would cherish him till time ceases to exist and whenever you, the reader meets me, know that I was fortunate enough to meet him altering me thus...
I don't need sunshine, his name literally means ' The Sun ' .
My personal sun.
I end this post with a poem
BECAUSE
Because you're the one... that came closest to the definition of a 'soulmate'
Because you didn't feel the same
Because I had no obligation to suffer
Because you deserve friendship and love in its purest form.
- NikitaBECAUSE
Because you're the one... that came closest to the definition of a 'soulmate'
Because you didn't feel the same
Because I had no obligation to suffer
Because you deserve friendship and love in its purest form.
